The How to Series: How to Take Over the World
by Zoey Overbeck
Summary: DISCONTINUED Embark on the series as the Schaeffer siblings lead you on how to do things. Warning: Contains randomness, and random appearances of commercials. Also contains the annoying script form I have to use. First up... How to take over the world...


You know who owns Code Lyoko…

The How to Series… Hosted by the Schaeffer siblings… guests including the Lyoko Warriors and other guests from the show… but the guests come later… sorry…

Mostly written in script formation for the whole series… sorry… *sweatdrops* I apologize if it ruins the whole thing, just send me a message if it does… er…

Yes, this is part fanfiction, but if you don't think it is, then how is posting a character's answering machine message, or "___ ways how to make ________ angry" fanfiction too? I think I'll leave that thought to simmer while I write this… listening to … DISCO MUSIC and remixes! XD

_**How to**_… "**Take Over the World**"- hosted by XANA, co-hosted by Aelita

(XANA and Aelita sit behind a large, dark stained oak desk, XANA attaining a human form of a 25 year old male with black hair streaked with red highlights, and a black suit and pants. Aelita has taken a white suit almost identical to XANA's. There are a few pieces of papers on the desk in front of them, along with a small, white envelope sitting on the top of the papers.)

XANA: "Welcome back to the Lyokon channel, home of the "How to…" series. I am here with my co-host, Aelita."

Aelita: "Yes, and as it is the first episode of the series, I shall let XANA host this show for the most part today. And today's category is…"

(Aelita reaches for the envelope, and pulls a paper out of it, immediately confused upon reading it)

"Today's category is… how to … take over the world?"

(XANA sniggers, having fudged the vote by replacing the ballots that were cast in by others)

XANA: "Very well, take over the world it shall be. First off, there is the matter of the other countries. There are too many of them, so we must reduce them by a few… besides, there are several billion people, who's going to really care if we reduce the population by a few million?"

(Aelita sighs and facepalms on-camera, seeing that XANA did not get the whole point of the human race)

"And so, we begin the frontal assault- or an assault through the back doors which most countries leave open… Hire a computer savvy person, if you are not one yourself, and get them to hack several military bases- stealthily, or else the bumbling fools will realize you are there." 

(At this point, Aelita has gotten up, and walked over to the control panels near the cameras, not happy that XANA will reveal how to utterly destroy life. Taking control of a panel from a worker person, she fiddles around with it until a number appears in large, red, digital letters, signaling…)

Female announcer, butting in on XANA's speech, sending him to inwardly groan a little and pause while the commercials run: The "How to" series is sponsored by…

(A picture of Odd appears on the screen, holding up a small white tube of cream)

Odd: "Has this ever happened to you!?!?!" 

Ulrich, appearing next to him, holding his nose: "Your feet stink!"

Odd, shoving the tube really close the camera: "Thanks to … Oddbegone… er… your feet will never ever not not have a stinky smell ever again!"

(Odd pauses for a moment with a cheesy grin on his face. After a few seconds, when he thinks they turned the camera off, Odd shoves Ulrich off the set, complaining about the title change he made to the cream)

"Oddbegone!?!? Why did you change it from 'Usmellbad'?"

Ulrich: "'Y' is an ugly letter!"

Odd, curious at the new discovery: "It is?"

Ulrich: "No, 'U' is/are the only ugly letter around here. Besides, telling people their feet smell really bad isn't doing wonders for our sales, genius."

(Odd tackles Ulrich, and sounds of fighting can be heard, although it isn't seen, because they knocked the cameras down while trying to kill each other. Scene fizzles out with black and white pixels before going back to the announcer)

Announcer: And now, back to the paid programming… *redirects signal back to the show*

XANA: "Welcome back, puny-brained humans. That was one way how to exterminate the human race…. Er… that live commercial right there… Now, back to what I was saying. *shuffles papers* Ah, yes. Now, you're going to also have to hack into their computer settings for their machinery, like in the "Terminator" series. Now, for the fun part- the sport of hunting… humans! You're going to have to hack the computers and fire the weaponry on the military and the police force- yes, that's right. With the majority of the law gone, people will start creating chaos and start wiping themselves out… or you can simply…" 

Aelita: All right, that's enough… *tackles him*

(Cameras fizzle out as the siblings fight each other)

And that is it for today's "How to" series…

Announcer: "Sponsoring for this weird show comes from a variety of sources, such as the…

"Don't steal my ideas!" corporation,

"If you want my stories or ideas, just ask" company, and the

"I need suggestions for the next 'How to…' thing" division.

Support for the Lyokon channel comes from the 'Big Fat Cheese Head' group.

Thank you for watching…"

Well, that was one of my less brilliant ideas… The idea of how to take over the world was going to be fully put here, but I decided not to for several reasons…

People will steal them.

I don't want any competition when I finally enact the plan.

I'd run into problems if I actually _did _post how to take over the world by the owners of this site, and the government, probably…

Thanks for seeing this deviation though… no, really, look at the sponsoring… I really need ideas for the other how to segments (I already have a "how to write a fanfiction" thing planned for people that wonder how I write). I hate it when people steal my ideas and fanfiction… yes, this could have been longer, but it is a series of short stuff… so… yeah… Oh, yeah, the letter thing on the Why (Y) and You (U) is from "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack", when I was bored, so I decided to watch it. I just rephrased it a little to fit here.


End file.
